[ peace ]

                                                                                   *available as a greeting card

[ longer arms please! ]

sooooooo... when i drive along with my boys, 4 & 2, they are always dropping things & then i hear the inevitably... mom can you 'just' get that please... i like how they add the 'just'.


i'd say about 65% of the time i can grab the whatever it is, but the other 35% of the time my arms are just not quite long enough. the worst is when it's a drink! & it is dribbling out of the straw or cup on the car floor & you just can't quite get it! or when one of them sneezes & without even looking you know that there are snot tusks!

i'm wondering why women's arms haven't evolved & got 'just' that little bit longer! stretchy would be good, seriously it would be really handy! wiping noses & reaching to put binkies (dummies) in.  i'm not talking inspector gadget or anything ~ although i can't count how many times it would have been useful to be able to attach another pair of arms!

[ from russia with love ]

sooooooo... my son oscar, 4, goes to nursery school. he had to bring in something for show & tell today & the theme was russia.

the only real russian thing we have to hand is one of those nesting dolls*, so i got it ready & that morning i explained to him what was going on.

about 2 hours later i had about 6 emails from russian brides!!! & have been getting them continuously ever since!





is it just coincidence or is our house bugged or something!! i'm really amazed... i didn't do a search, or say out loud anything to do with russia until that morning!



* a matryoshka doll, also known as a russian nested doll or a babushka doll, is a set of dolls of decreasing sizes placed one inside the other. the word "matryoshka" (матрёшка) is derived from the russian female first name "matryona" (mатрёна). The word "babushka" (бабушка) is the russian word for grandmother.

 

[ blog-a khan! ]

sooooooo... i have to admit that since starting this blog, when i sit down to type, chaka khan 'i feel for you' seems to pop into my head... but with the words 'blog-a khan'!

i can usual shake this after one verse! [ should i be going to see someone about this? ]

writing stuff down [ & wine ] is my therapy & i have had lots of very positive comments about my blog... thanks ever so!!!

so really this a BIG thank you to those who read & support this ~ a sorry! to all those i've cheesed off with my emails to announce a new posting!! ~ don't suffer! just unsubscribe!

i really am trying to get this out there so hopefully someone will start following this, like it & want me to write a column in a newspaper or something. i could be like carrie bradshaw!! expect i have 2 kids, don't live in the city, seldom get out of my comfy sweats... but we both use a mac!!! & the more people this reaches the more of a chance this may happen.

soooooo please keep reading! give me feedback! i promise i will give you acting parts when this series of blogs gets made into a film!

as the everly brothers & roy orbison would say: drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream

a lot of email providers block links that contain 'blog' as they immediately think it must be spam... so heres the link [  in case you want to forward it on to anyone ; )  ]

www.519design.com/readme.htm

[ mad hatter ]

sooooooo... i've always had a soft spot for alice in wonderland. i think it comes from spending hours as a child looking at the book we had at home, being fascinated with the pages where the type was like a path or making another shape.

my husband mike & i decided, on a rainy saturday, to take the boys to see it at the cinema. i called beforehand to check that it would be ok for a 4 & 2 year old. the guy that picked up the phone very 'helpfully' told me he hadn't seen it ~ & that some people said it was really scary while others said it wasn't scary at all...

we went all the same but did notice that our kids were by far the youngest ones in line!! oh well... whats the worst thats going to happen, we'll just have to leave!

i know i'm going to sound like an old person now... i haven't been to the cinema in a while but i was quite surprised how much it cost! 2 adults, a 4 & 2 year old came to $52, but we were doing the whole imax thing. so great... if it is going to freak the boys out it'll freak them in 3D!

we get in our seats shuffling round the 'sack' of popcorn & 'buckets' of drink!! only in america!!

oscar was totally at home straight way, munching away cross legged with his 3D glasses on... even before anything was 3D.

flynn kept shouting random phrases & words out. i know this is a total mom thing that i thought that was funny, i'm sure it was really annoying everyone else. oh well! & his glasses kept falling off...

all in all we enjoyed it ~ the boys watched it right through to the end. [ fanfare! ]

i was in the library the other day & overheard a very 'proper' mom telling someone that it's not for children under 10... oops!!

as a side note... [ about the mad hatter: ]

mercury was used in the making of hats. this was known to have affected the nervous systems of hatters, causing them to tremble and appear insane. a neurotoxicologist wrote 'mercury exposure can cause aggressiveness, mood swings, and anti-social behaviour.' mmmmm ~ i know a few milliners although i've never seen their hats!

mercury poisoning is still known today as 'mad hatter's disease'.

[ torch! ]

sooooooo... i'm british & lived in the states for dare i say it 10 years on the 24th of this month! wow! that's a kind of major-ish anniversary! i just looked up the traditional anniversary gift present & it's tin or aluminum!! lovely! mmmmm looking forward to my 10th wedding anniversary present then!!

anyway...there are lots of funny differences in the language ~ for example in the uk we say trousers, in the states we say pants. pants in the uk is underwear.

i thought i'd come across most of these but i was recently surprised!

we had a few major things done to our house... like a new water mains... which cracked & also got a new tankless water heater when our old boiler broke... these things require permits & once installed someone from the township has to come to inspect he work.

this happened & i led the inspector guy into the basement... the light was on but the area he needed to look at was in a dark corner. he asked is there another light? i looked around because we did have something rigged up at one point. he saw a light switch & said don't worry i've found it & he flicked it. i replied you'll be lucky!! that would be far too easy!!

i saw a flashlight,  grabbed it & said to him would you like a torch? (which is what we call them in the uk)

he had his back to me & said in a kind of 'i don't think so voice' errrr no that's fine & as he said that he turned round where i was standing holding a flashlight.

i was thinking suit yourself, stay in the dark!

then he must have realized the whole 'language barrier' thing! & explained it to me (to be honest i was very confused!!) did he honestly think i was going to get a piece of wood, set light to one end of it to light my basement!! how medieval!!

[ another beautiful day... ]

sooooooo... oscar, my 4 year old son, looked out of the window

oscar: mom come quickly!

me [ thinking: oh no whats happened now...  seriously... it could be anything ] yes oscar what is it?

oscar: look it's another beautiful day!

me: [ really relieved ] you know what you're right! look at that sky!

oscar: yes... even the clouds have turned blue!

kuser farm park... really nice!


http://www.fieldtrip.com/nj/98903630.htm

[ uncle pete ]

sooooooo... my uncle pete wasn't really my uncle but my parents raised us like that. he was my dad's best friend, best man at his wedding, my sister's godfather.

when i was 18 & ran away from italy, where i was living, [ that's a whole other blog right there ] he took me in with open arms.

very sincere, supportive & not at all judgmental, he always had time for me & would listen.

positive & funny!

an amazing letter writer

so it is with great sadness that i write: today the world has lost one of it's most genuine, wonderful & kind people

i can not believe this has happened...

my uncle pete gone ~ my heart has a hole that will never mend

'perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.' an eskimo quote, & very appropriate because he was a lover of stars.

why is death so final... why can't we get the opportunity to talk to people that have passed on once a year or something? (& i don't mean using any type of clairvoyance).

i miss you so much & will never forget you, you will always remain in my heart.


Miss Me ~ But Let Me Go

When I come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for me,
I want no rites in a gloom-filled room,
Why cry for a soul set free!
Miss me a little - but not for long
And not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love that we once shared,
Miss me, but let me go.
For this journey that we all must take
And each must go alone;
It's all a part of the Master's plan
A step on the road to home.
When you are lonely and sick at heart
Go to the friends we know,
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds.
Miss me, but let me go.

~ Edgar Albert Guest (1881-1959)

[ raccoon! ]

sooooooo...my husband, mike, gets home from work at 9pm last night & his opening line was ~ there's an injured raccoon in our driveway. i made him repeat it about 7 times because for some reason it wasn't registering! a what...?

ok! so the only thing i know about raccoons is that a lot of them have rabies. i really didn’t know what to do... i quickly tried looking up numbers on the internet but didn’t get anywhere. then i remembered my neighbor across the street has the number for animal control... i told mike i was going to get it & i’d be right back. as i was closing our front door mike said don’t stay there chit chatting!! ok ok !

i knock on the door & kris comes out, i tell her we have an injured raccoon in our driveway... she says are you sure it’s not rabid.  no i insisted... it’s a raccoon! (i thought she’s said a rabbit!!) hahahahaha

ok.... so rabid isn’t a word i’m familiar with!! i know the word rabies!! just for the record i’m british & we are rabies free... i did think it was a little odd when she said that... i mean i’m no wildlife expert but i can certainly tell the difference between a rabbit & a raccoon!!

so she gave me the number to the police because animal control would be closed now. then she showed me her new puppy ~ which is GORGEOUS! & we were chatting... out of the corner of my eye i see mike getting something out of his car... then the words 'don't stay there chit chatting' came in my head!! bye kris gotta go!

i ran back & called the cops! a message came on & if it was an emergency i had to press 0... there were no other choices to talk to anyone so i hit 0! a buff police lady answered... after apologizing profusely as this wasn’t a real emergency & explaining the situation... her response was this: the only thing we can do is send someone out to shoot it. then there was a silence, because that was her answer & my chin was sitting on top of my shoe!! i think i actually said... are you serious!!?

i mean really!! is that IT!! not coming from a country that has this whole issue with guns, i’m pretty sure the english bobbies * (that's english speak for police) don't even carry them...

it all sounded very drastic & totally wild west to me! i said 'er... is that your only solution...?' a quick firm 'YES' came back at me. i said 'well let me think about it...' she replied 'call us back if you change your mind....'

i then call the local vets & got hold of the one on call... explained the situation & he told me firmly not to touch it & call the police. but they want to shoot it i whined... he says that's what should happen & that it’s illegal in NJ to treat an injured raccoon.

THIS IS NUTS!!!! don’t vets take the hippocratic oath or something to save any animal's life? remind me not to come back in my next life as a raccoon in NJ!!! (actually i’ve already put dibs on being a koala! they sit around in trees all day, drunk on munching eucalyptus, sleep up to 18 hours & have hardly any predators!)

thing is i’m now super scared of the rabbit, i mean rabies issue... i definitely don’t want mike or myself to handle it... & definitely don’t want any of my pets, or any one else's for that matter to go anywhere near it, god forbid...

mike kept going to look at it & told me to go see.. i said no way... firstly i can just see me taking a peek at this thing, it launching itself for my neck & we’d have a frenzied fight.... secondly if i went to see it i would get attached to this striped ‘vermin’! & would be lobbying for their rights worldwide.

it wasn't doing very well at all ~ panting badly...

after a long discussion we decided the kindest & safest thing to do would be to have it put out of it's misery...

i called back the police, it took 3 calls i kept hanging up before it rang... i felt awful & got an instant 'uncomfortable' rash on my neck... i really really wished there was another option.

the buff lady answered & i said 'ok we've changed our minds, please can you come out & shoot it...'

a police officer turns up, i was a big chicken & sent mike out, paced around the house & fed my boys chocolate!

mike came back in ~ but there was no bang....thankfully it didn't happen because the raccoon was right up against the house.

in the morning it had gone... we looked around but nothing.

later on animal control rang me to see if it was still there... apparently... contacting them should have been an option from the police & if anything like this happens again i should insist on it.

animal control would pick up the animal & take it to the wildlife center.

i also called the wildlife center, who confirmed this & enlightened me that it is only illegal to treat a raccoon in NJ if you don't have a license... vets will only treat domestic animals.

wow... i'm so sorry raccoon... i should have fought for you harder, thank goodness you stayed right up against the house & then had the strength to get up & go!!

so lesson learned... this might be america.. but there is no need to shoot anything!

oscar said are they going to shoot it with raccoon medicine ~ BRILLIANT IDEA!!!

personally i think that the second amendment to the united states constitution that protects a 'right to bear arms' is a typo... it's meant to say a 'right to bare arms' ... someone wanted to introduce sleeveless shirts & jackets for warmer weather, instead of those frilly cuffs... that's all!



*the london police force was created in 1829 by an act introduced in parliament by the home secretary, sir robert peel (hence the nicknames “bobbies” and “peelers” for policemen).

[ it's finally here...! ]

sooooooo... FINALLY this weekend really felt like spring HOOORAY!!

in the words of little bill 'spring is here, spring is here, it’s the best time of the year…..' www.nickjr.com/little-bill/

at long last!! (is it me or did this winter seem to be lingering too long!) but the bulbs are starting to poke though, i even spied lumpy bits on branches that are the begins of buds.

all the clouds disappeared leaving a gorgeous blue sky.

the air smelt like spring! isn't it a WONDERFUL feeling to see everything waking up & starting to grow!?

the crazy squirrels have started going nuts! 2 were in our garden & were so intense in chasing each other they were oblivious we were standing there... for one moment i thought one of them was going to run straight over oscar!!





















 i did get a little bit carried away though...i threw opened the windows in the house & went out to the park without coats. i was supporting the appearance of the season! kind of encouraging it along!

we were really cold after about half an hour & rushed back to a frozen house! but it's all good!

the snow is melting (although i think it will probably take another year for huge mountains in the parking lots to go!)

[ ok go - 'this too shall pass' ]

my boys LOVE watching this! i'm just waiting for them to ask me to set something like this up... & you know what... i'd probably have a go!! (don't tell them that though!!)

[ superman ~ batman ]

sooooooo.... i took the boys to the ymca for ‘sportsmania’ to give them a taste of lots of different sports & burn off some energy!

first of all oscar, 4, had a superman tee shirt on & flynn, 2, a batman one.

when we got in the gym there were 5 boys already there that must have been a year older than oscar trying to play scoccer. they all knew each other & oscar didn’t have the confidence to go up & join in (he gets that from me). so we sat & waited for the instructor to come.

the coach goes over & introduces himself. wasn’t pushy at all, which i was really relieved about. oscar was hiding behind my leg & flynn was literally trying to get up into my sweat pants!!

so the coach says just join in when you feel ready. he gets all the boys to sit on a line while he explains what they are going to do today. so i'm thinking... i should try & get him to go join in without being a 'pushy' mom!

he won't go without me... so i'm sitting on the line too. the coach gets the kids to say their names for oscars sake... oscar introduced himself & his brother as superman & batman.... i said oggie tell them your name.

i knew i shouldn't have said 'oggie' as soon as it left my mouth... but that's what we call him. oscar first started saying his name as oggie ~ it's sweet & stuck...

i managed to slip away to the side with the other mom's & oscar actually was getting into it.

it was really funny watching these kids calling oscar superman as if that was his name!!!

flynn didn’t want any part of it & kept my lap warm.

they started trying to throw balls over the volley ball net to each other. this older kid ’archer’ who always had his hands in his pockets was oscars partner. oscar had real trouble getting the ball over the net... archer pipes up 'superman’s meant to be able to do anything!!!' oscar turned around showing his back & replied 'i don’t have my cape!' touché pussy cat!!! i don't know where he pulled that from but good job!!!

superman gets picked to bat first & he hit the ball!! oh the pride!! thank god pride isn’t like sweat... i would have left a puddle!!!

things i can get away with now but should probably start trying to train myself not to in front of other kids ... saying 'yes my darling' ~ probably did that about 27 times ooooooooooooooooo

yelling 'go oggie go!!!' when he was running round the baseball bases.

waving ~ & giving the thumbs up!

wow... this was my first taste of how a mom can get their kid bullied!! luckily, though, these kids are just a little bit young to realize the ammo i was handing over.

he was having a conversation with another kid... it was so strange to watch!! i don’t know what they were talking about but all of a sudden oscar started doing karate moves!!

[ stitches ]

sooooooo... we took lennon (our dog) to the vets today to have his stitches removed...

we meaning ~ oscar 4, flynn 2, & myself.

the boys have been really careful of lennon's boo boo, which is a quite large shaven patch with a line of stitches.

i explain to the boys that lennon's stitches are going to be taken out... 'but why mom?' 'well... because his cut is getting better now.'

oscar says... well are they going to stick the fur back on too...??!