sooooooo... i'd love to hear all your views on my current dilemma!! i am a mom to 2 beautiful healthy boys, 4 & nearly 3, that bring us an abundance of joy, lots of laughter, so much pride & fear provoked grey hairs.
i've never been a 'i've got to have babies' type of girl... & quite frankly i'm really bad at making those types of big decisions... luckily my husband, mike, thought we should start a family so we did & i've never looked back... or had so many life lessons cramped into a short space of time.
from the beginning of this parental roller coaster mike has always said he wanted 3... i've kind of had that in my head... but since my second, flynn, was born till about a month ago i've always said, i'm not ready to sell the crib... but i couldn't handle another... ok i mean.. i couldn't handle another properly without compromising on every one's attention...
but as oscar (my oldest) & flynn get bigger, more independent & i watch these amazing little personalities develop i can't help but think what would #3 be like?? would it make me feel complete? or be a total nightmare that sends me over the edge?
there are days when the boys are really demanding ~ i feel like i'm going insane & i think to myself how can i even contemplate having another ~ i'm struggling with the 2 i've got...
i've been getting some nice freelance jobs ~ would i still be able to do all that?
there is also the question of age ~ i hit a 'big' birthday next year, & i don't mean 21! (easy mistake though!)
of course the people who already have 3 say it's great, that's because once it's done it's done & you're making the best of it.
i also know people that are happy with 2 ~ are absolutely sure 2 is it... i wish i was one of those people, but i've never been like that. when i was trying on wedding dresses some girls would be crying in their dressing rooms over the dress because they had found THE one!! i never experienced anything like that.
i'm on the fence... if we don't have anymore will i regret it? or in the long run is 2 the most sensible thing all round, i only have 2 arms (but i can give lots of hugs!!) i'm not desperately saying i want another baby...
mike doesn't mind either way... he's a great dad. i think deep down he's good with 2 but he'd be up for the chaos!
also it's not a having a girl thing... boys are fantastic & if we were blessed with a girl i'd be shocked!! & would have to get an instruction manual! (bet there are lots of volumes!!)
when i ask the boys if they want a little brother or sister they both say no. oscar said he wants an older one instead!
one person i spoke to said the dynamics of 3 isn't as good as with 2. i also read it's nice for siblings to have more than one to play with. so there's pros & cons to everything.
are there any people out there that were on the fence about a third & stayed at 2?
any advice at all in general? THANK YOU!!
I have an older brother and sister, so I would tell you to go for 3 (otherwise I wouldn't be here), but I am also step-mum to 3 and from this experience I would advise you to stop at 2! Sorry, that's no help whatsoever, is it?!
ReplyDeleteAnnie, I have always thought you would have a dining table full of them.
ReplyDeleteThree will still fit in a car.
You can always freelance, that's the beauty of it!
I would have another one tomorrow (a boy!!!), but Lee can't face another hospital drama.
Girls are great!! But boys are easier, so people tell me. Very loyal to their mum. Girls run to daddy. But on the other hand girls are very independant at a very early age, which can be handy.
The boys will love it once the baby is there!
I would say go for it. I've just turned 'that ag' and I found it harder to carry the second one after 10 years, but then again, you're much fitter then I am, so should be a breeeeze. Go for it girl! xxx
Go for it! I want three...and I started a business....if you are not positive you want to stop, then you probably don't want too...life is crazy, no matter what!
ReplyDeleteI think you would do great!
;)
jenn
since i just had my third i could tell you...at the moment of my one and two year old crying i thought i cant handle the third what am i going to do?????
ReplyDeleteI cant wait to see her personality comeout like brandon and trevors did and wheni see brandon being so gentle givingher a bottle and strokingher hair he calls her tiny toes...i know itis the best gift i gave the boys will prepare them to be good daddys in the future......
ever mom gets overwhelm whether you have one child or 3 children every mom will have those days of i am going to go insane.....
coming from a big family.......I cant see anything better then having kids
I look at my boys and little girl and i am like we made them.... it really is such a gift if you and mike are blessed with a third whether itis a boy or a girl i know you have enough arms to hug everyone.
we just did a group hug yesterday because i had the baby and brandon wanted to be held and trevor and i had no room for all three so we all did a group hug that ended with everyone giggling they thought this was the funnist thing...kids are so easy t please the more kids the more love you have in your house....
as for freelance .....there will always be work but babies come for such a short period of timein your life....it is worth the work sacrifice!
hmmm i wonder which way i am swaying.........:)
i also think you know when your done bare down no ? asked.
as a mom of 3................... i say go for it :)
jenny smith